The Conquered Fear

The Conquered Fear

There is a specific kind of fear that only conquest cures,
not the removing of the danger but the building that endures
past the danger, through the danger,
into something on the far side
where the fear is still alive
but it has no operational hard side.

The conquered fear is not a fear that you have permanently slain,
it is a fear that you have taught to work
for you and not to drain,
you do not destroy the fear, you put it in the engine,
the conquered fear is fuel that keeps the whole machine from pengin.

I was afraid of the big room, of the table where decisions live,
afraid of the authority that I would have to drive and give
to an operation bigger than anything I had controlled before,
afraid that I would reach the height
and find I could not hold the floor.

I took the room. I took it shaking. I held it until steady.
I held it until the shaking stopped and then I made myself ready
for the next room and the next fear
and the next level of the ceiling,
every fear I have conquered is a conquered fear that keeps on yielding.