Please Stop Apologizing For Existing

You say sorry when the waiter bumps your chair
when the bus hits a pothole
when the weather ruins shit you did not control in the least
You say sorry when your stomach growls too loud
when you laugh unplanned
when you sneeze twice and disturb some stranger’s quiet meal
You apologize for taking up space on the couch

for needing a ride
for breathing too hard when your chest gets tight
You text me sorry for the paragraph before you even send it
as if honest feelings come with late fees at midnight.
You walk into a room already shrinking yourself
scanning for the smallest corner where you can fold up and not be seen
You offer to sit on the floor, to skip dessert

to stay home next time, to tone yourself down
keep everything neat and clean
I watch you hold your tongue when you have the best story
let others shout over you till your words die in your throat
Then later you beat yourself up in the car for not speaking
for not shining
for not being the bright one that stole the quote.

Somewhere along the line someone taught you that your needs count as trouble
that your voice lands as noise not sound
That love equals how well you disappear
how gently you place your own heartbeat face down on the ground
Every sorry that falls out of your mouth hits my ears like an alarm that refuses to drown.

Please stop apologizing for existing
for having hunger and opinions and a laugh that hits a little too loud
You are not a stain on the carpet of this world
not a nuisance in the background of someone else’s crowd
Every time you say sorry for breathing near me
I want to shake the sky and shout that I am proud To share air with you
to share space with you

to watch you take up room you have already earned out loud.
You say sorry when you cry, when your voice cracks
when you tell me about childhood pain that still punches through your sleep
You apologize for flinching at sudden sounds
for freezing in arguments
for needing extra reassurance when memories creep
You tell me you are tired of being too much

then in the same breath say sorry for being so tired all the time
That double layered guilt stacks up high
a fragile tower of self-blame wobbling on top of a crime that never belonged to you in its prime.
I want to gather every apology that never belonged to you and dump them in the sea like useless shards
Watch them sink past all the trash that got there earlier
let the waves erase those heavy verbal tricks
Leave you lighter by a thousand sorries that never once deserved a place in your daily mix.

to watch you take up room you have already earned out loud.
Try this with me one day when your tongue winds up for another sorry about nothing at all
Swap it for “thank you for waiting” or “thank you for listening” or “I appreciate you picking up when I call
” Let gratitude take the seat shame used to hog
let your sentences stand tall
Practice saying “I need help” without tacking on a speech about how you will make yourself small.

Please stop apologizing for existing, for being sleepy
for being weird, for being late to some made up race
You have survived things that would have folded others in half
you still offer kindness like candy in every space
You deserve love that does not require an apology at the door
that meets you with open arms and a steady face
Please stop apologizing for existing

and if that feels impossible
hand me some of that guilt
I will throw it off this place.
Next time your mouth starts to say “I am sorry I am such a mess
” let that phrase fall apart in your throat and change it to “I am here
” Then watch my smile answer back in full
no conditions, no sighs, just hell yes you are

stay near.