Nothing to Say
I’m standing there before you,
silence smothering the air.
You’ve told me everything you felt,
made it crystal clear.
Somehow you don’t know
what’s inside my tired mind.
I need to tell you something
before we’re out of time.
You say we just can’t communicate anymore.
You have no idea
what it is you’re waiting for.
One hand on the doorknob,
a pause, a teardrop in your eyes,
a look that is simply begging me
to not let you say goodbye.
My mind explodes in flashes
of the most vivid memories,
everything I see in you
flooding through me suddenly.
The silly way you giggle
at the random things I do.
Everything I know I truly love
about what is you.
The light striking the highlight in your hair.
Tripping in the morning
over your discarded underwear.
Coffee made so strong
it puts Starbucks right to shame.
The way you try to cheat
when we play video games.
The warmth of your smile,
your face shining in the light.
The comfort of your body
cuddled close to mine at night.
The way you try to heal
the pains I try to hide,
and quietly made your way
somewhere deep inside.
I don’t think I can breathe
without you in my air.
I don’t want to imagine
a life without you there.
The way you forgive me
when I won’t forgive myself.
The razors in the shower.
The perfume on the shelf.
I can see the sunshine
in everything you do,
the moonlight dancing in the air
surrounding you.
The way you breathe,
the way you look at me in the morning,
the way you try to heal me
and end the suffering.
I take silent solace
when we lay down to rest,
curled up behind you,
my hand cupped on your breast.
I can feel the heat of your skin
next to mine,
and every single minute
feels like the end of time.
And I can see the fireworks
going off inside your eyes,
a little piece of heaven
right between your thighs.
You’re everything I desire, lust, crave,
that I need.
You’re in every teardrop,
every drop I bleed.
The way you gasp breathlessly
when you receive me inside.
The way you sigh softly
when you look into my eyes.
Your dirty dishes in the sink,
shoes left on the floor.
Everything I am to you,
you mean so much more.
It’s all right here inside me,
pictures crystal clear,
everything you said
you needed to hear.
The turning of the doorknob,
and you are on your way.
I open my mouth to tell you everything,
to ask you please to stay.
It was the last chance moment,
just that one delay.
And I stand there with my jaw slack,
watching you walk away.
The words they never came to me.
I’ve nothing left to say.