The panic used to inhabit the space behind my teeth
A jagged blade that I kept hidden in a leather sheath
I’ve spent a decade bracing for a ceiling made of lead
With a predatory static screaming inside of my head
I repaired the broken hinges on the heavy oak door
And I scrubbed the old adrenaline from the kitchen floor
I reinforced the perimeter with a slow and steady hand
Reclaiming every acre of my own internal land
The silence isn’t heavy it’s a weight I finally chose
While the tension in my shoulders finally starts to unclose
There is no alarm ringing in the hallway tonight
I’ve traded in the wreckage for a clear and steady light
The sirens have retreated to a city far away
I’m standing in the center of a quiet kind of day
The walls are holding steady and the perimeter is deep
I’ve finally found a territory where I’m allowed to sleep
I watched the woman sleeping with a calm upon her brow
Without the frantic rhythm that I used to allow
I checked the locks three times and then I checked them once again
Not from paranoia just the habits of the when
I used to scan the treeline for a movement in the dark
Now I scan the garden for the robin and the lark
The medication’s settled in a steady kind of hum
I’ve accepted that the quiet isn’t something to succumb
To but a state of earned existence a reward for staying true
To the protocol of healing that I built myself into
Beneath the heavy clover and the coolness of the night
The architecture holds because I built it from the bone
Creating a sanctuary that is entirely my own
The history of the damage is a drawer I’ve nailed shut
I’m watching how the branches move without assuming what
The air is thick with cedar and the smell of cooling rain
A physical relief that’s finally washing out the stain
I am more than just the wreckage of a long and bitter spree
I’m a man who’s earned the right to simply sit and simply be
The battery is full and the signal is quite clear
I’ve reached the final border of the industry of fear
I’ll walk out to the porch and I’ll watch the sun go down
Without a single worry for the bastards in the town