My Thoughts Keep Pacing Without Me

My Thoughts Keep Pacing Without Me

My Thoughts Keep Pacing Without Me
I tried locking the door, but my thoughts keep slipping under it
Shadows wear my face night and mouth words I didn’t choose
There’s a scream behind my eyes that learned how to whisper like a friend
I talk to ceilings now—at at least they never interrupt
My hands tremble like addicts, though I’m not sure what I’m craving
Maybe silence, maybe sleep, maybe just a moment that doesn’t twitch
My thoughts keep pacing without me, chewing holes in the walls I fake
I watch myself like a stranger watching a meltdown and filming it
I’m not okay—I’m just efficient looking like I might be
I once counted tiles for comfort—now I count heartbes between panic
Friends ask me how I’ve been, and I just say “busy” through clenched teeth
‘Cause honesty’s expensive, and I’m already overdrawn in sanity
My bed is a boxing ring, my brain throws punches ghosts
I don’t remember peace, just different shades of unchanging
And the only time I breathe deep is during the nightmares that feel like home
If you see me smile too long, look closer—th’s the mask slipping
I don’t need saving, just a moment of quiet where I don’t flinch
‘Cause I’m tired of losing arguments to the voices that sound like me
010 is next—back to sleazy fun. You want it nasty and cchy? Say continue and I’ll give you something soaked in swe and regret.