Mother’s Journey – The Last Tear (Prose)
Under The Floorboards
Dawg
So close to bringing her home
a small win after months of battles
in hospital rooms and sterile hallways
The doctors said hospice
her own bed
her own things
the place she’d always felt safe
One condition — she had to eat
She wouldn’t do it
I couldn’t understand it
couldn’t figure out why she was being
so goddamn stubborn
I was tired
worn down from months of watching her fight
sleepless nights
worry chewing at my insides
“Stop being stubborn, Mom”
I snapped
frustration boiling over
words I regretted the second they left my mouth
But I didn’t take them back
Too exhausted
too far gone
I walked out of the room
The next day everything changed
Another heart attack
this time the damage was too much
They started the morphine
and from that point on
she was never really there again
Lingering
caught between life and death
her body holding on
while her spirit drifted away
The guilt hit me like a wall
Our last real conversation was an argument
The last words I spoke to her
were sharp
frustrated
undeserved
No way to take them back
No way to say I was sorry
that I didn’t mean it
that I loved her more than anything
I sat by her bed
day after day
watching my rock fade away
I tried to talk to her
but the words felt hollow
How do you apologize
to someone who can’t hear you
The room felt colder
warmth sucked out
nothing left but a shell
I brushed her hair
held her hand
hoping some part of her
could still feel me there
No response
no recognition
when her eyes fluttered open
it was like looking at a stranger
wearing my mother’s face
The night she died
I was brushing her hair
the only connection left
Her eyes, closed for days
suddenly opened
She looked right at me
I froze
No words
Just a single tear
slipping down her cheek
Everything she couldn’t say
was in that tear
Her forgiveness
her love
her goodbye
I wanted to reach out
to hold her
to tell her I was sorry
But I couldn’t move
rooted there
locked in that moment
The room grew colder
a chill seeping into my bones
into the core of me
Something shifted
something broke open
and couldn’t be put back together
Then she was gone
Just like that
The tear still glistened on her cheek
her eyes still open but empty
drained of the life
that had once burned in them
I sat there
brush still in my hand
staring
unable to process it
All that was left
was a cold room
and a single tear
that said everything
words never could
The guilt still haunts me
The memory of that last argument
the things left unsaid
the moments we’ll never have
But that tear
that last silent message
I’ll carry it forever
Her final gift
A reminder that even at the end
she was still my mother
still loving me
even when I didn’t deserve it
I can still feel the weight of that tear
the cold of that room
the emptiness that followed
It will always be a part of me
just as she will always be
no matter how much time passes