I am feeling mental these days, not locked up, just wired wrong,
Head like a bad late night station playing the same sad song too long,
Wake up already tired, scroll the news, feel my stomach drop and spin,
Make a joke about burnout in the mirror
while I shave around the places I have been.
Everybody says just breathe, just calm your busy head,
I breathe in dust and old mistakes and call it air instead.
I am not crazy, I am just stuck in a brain that will not quit,
Not losing my mind, I am lost within it,
Got a million little worries doing laps in my skull,
Some nights I feel empty, some nights way too full,
I am not insane, just a little too aware to sit still and forget,
Yeah I am mental, and I have not figured out how to live with it yet.
Therapist asks how I am, I laugh and dodge like it is a game,
Talk about traffic and weather, skip the part where I swallow shame,
Plant in the corner droops like it is sick of my greatest hits,
Every week I promise I will change, then go home and cancel it.
On the couch at three in the morning, blue light carving lines in my face,
Typing messages I never send, talking to ghosts I cannot replace,
Heart doing double time while the room stays still as stone,
Funny how you can feel surrounded and still be stuck alone.
People say it could be worse, at least you have a roof, a bed,
But they do not see the crowded noise chewing through my head.
I am not crazy, I am just stuck in a brain that will not quit,
Not losing my mind, I am lost within it,
Thoughts stack high like dirty plates in a kitchen I never clean,
Every what if, every almost, every stupid in between,
I am not insane, just running hot on fear and cheap regret,
Yeah I am mental, and I have not figured out how to live with it yet.
Give me one soft morning where my first thought is not what did I wreck,
One slow shower where the water feels like comfort, not a debt to check,
One small day where I am not auditioning just to take up space,
Where my own reflection looks like someone I might want to face.
I am not crazy, I am just stuck in a brain that will not quit,
Not losing my mind, I am lost within it,
Carrying jokes like armor, carrying shame like stone,
Trying to make a crowded skull feel something like home,
I am not insane, just tired of running laps against a brain that won’t reset,
Yeah I am mental, still here, still breathing,
still working out the rest of it yet.