Apartment always smelled like old incense and microwave heat
Curtains half-closed, dust on the TV, dust on the sheet
I’d drop my bag, sink into that gray couch sag
Believing you needed company, not seeing the flag
The room felt harmless: warm lamp, fan rattling in the corner
Playlists looping the same four songs, order and disorder
But the crack showed the night you asked where I’d been
Voice low but sharp, cutting under the skin
Counting my absences like unpaid debts
You smiled soft, but I haven’t forgotten the threats
Hand closed on my wrist, tight enough to understand
Closeness wasn’t the point–it was the upper hand
You called it caring
I felt the leash tighten
You said you couldn’t lose me
But the grip was frightening
What you wanted wasn’t friendship to hold
It was just something to control
The machine was familiar: the gratitude trap
“I’m only looking out for you,” closing the map
Tallying favors I didn’t ask to receive
Scripts about loyalty, how you’d never leave
The brutal detail? You reordered my plate
Said you “knew what I liked better,” sealing the fate
I thought, “Don’t correct them, don’t start a fight”
Stopped being a friend, became a project that night
I wasn’t innocent, I let the praise hook
Let the guilt steer me every time that I looked
Told myself loyalty mattered, kept the peace
While you were busy signing the lease on my time
You called it caring
I felt the leash tighten
You said you couldn’t lose me
But the grip was frightening
What you wanted wasn’t friendship to hold
It was just something to control
Don’t tell me you “meant well”
Don’t call me dramatic for wanting a life
Don’t pretend you didn’t corner me with strife
With tears, with that soft tone right after the sting
If you need proof the spell broke, here’s the thing:
The last time you reached for my wrist
I didn’t fold, didn’t justify, didn’t exist
For you. I just stepped back
And your face gave it away–not hurt, not confused
Just anger
Because I wasn’t yours to abuse
You called it caring
But I felt the leash snap
You said you couldn’t lose me
But I’m off the map
What you wanted wasn’t friendship to hold
I’m not yours to control
The couch is still there
Playlists still looping
I’m gone