Human Garbage Disposal
I will take your leftovers, your scraps
your half-finished drinks
your emotional trash you do not want to sit with when the party ends
I chew through plates and problems like steel
swallow other people’s drama by the bucket while they call me their “rock
” their “one real friend
” Then when I am bloated with their bullshit and my own
they look at my body, my bills
my tired eyes and ask why I cannot “get my shit together
” Like I am not clogged to the throat with everyone’s secrets and pizza slices and bad weather.
I learned early that if something hit the floor
you grab it fast or it is gone
So now I grab everything—food, work, broken people
lost causes, every stray stuck wandering till dawn
I drag them inside me like bags tied to my guts
rumbling and leaking and making me stink of other people’s mess
They walk away lighter, cleaner
calling me “strong” while I waddled home overfed and depressed.
Call me toxic, call me lazy, call me gross when I spill
But you lined up at my mouth for years and now you sneer at the bill.
I am a human garbage disposal
grinding bones and fries and feelings down
If it is ugly, unwanted, heavy as fuck
I will swallow it before it hits the ground
If this is gluttony, then fine
write me as the beast under the sink
Just know your clean little life only works because I eat what you will not even think.
I will eat your blame, your guilt, your bad nights
your cheap sex, your panic
your “I need help but don’t tell anyone I said that” whisper
Wash it down with three cheeseburgers and a liter of soda and sit there sweating
pressure in my chest like a burning wire
You call me dramatic when I say I cannot keep this up
then call me again the second you need a dumping ground for your pain
You love me big enough to take it but hate me big enough to see it written on my frame.
One of these days I am going to spit it back
A full-body vomit of every secret and snack
Every “you’re the only one I trust” turned inside out on the table
Let them all see what I ate just to keep your pretty stories stable.
I am a human garbage disposal
grinding bones and fries and feelings down
If it is ugly, unwanted, heavy as fuck
I will swallow it before it hits the ground
If this is gluttony, then fine
write me as the beast under the sink
Just know your clean little life only works because I eat what you will not even think.
When I finally break and spill guts and truth all over the floor
You will gasp and grab your throat and say you had no idea
I will burp in your face and ask, “Hungry for more?”