Going Weak

I won’t blow out the candle.
I’m scared of the darkness now,
and I don’t understand
when it came to this.

The promises blew past me on the wind.
Every one of them ended in a quarter hour.
Now there’s nowhere to begin.

You were my shadow dancer,
always moving in the light.
My brightest northern star,
the one that brought me home at night.
You were my words when I couldn’t speak.
My strength when I was weak.

Now the shadows swallow everything
and the light hurts my tired eyes.
I’m lost out here,
hearing whispers of my own lies.
Growing weaker every day.

I told you I’d always be there.
Swore to God we’d be fine.
Just believe, I said.
It’ll come around.

You were my wild ember,
flying through the dark,
building bonfires from nothing
with just a simple spark.
The flames that warmed my heart,
the heat that kept me
from disappearing into the black.

They said you were getting better.
They said you’d be all right.
I broke when I saw that final tear
and you slipped off into the night.

Last breath on your lips.
Last tear in your eye.
The last time I believed
in anybody’s lies.

I cursed the wind, cursed God and hell,
cursed everything in between.
Begged someone to tell me
what does this bullshit mean?

I never knew we could die
without saying a word.
Forever and a day, till the end of time–
someone decided your time was before mine,
and I hate you just as much as I love you
every single day.

My legs gave out.
I crumbled to my knees.
Every bit of strength drained out of me
like water through a crack.

I won’t say goodbye.
How can you leave me here?

I’m too weak to survive.
And I won’t blow out the candle.
I’m scared of the darkness now.