Eat The World And Die Hungry

I eat the world
and die hungry
teeth red
belly screaming for more

Shove love
meat
cash
pills inside
till it all leaks back
onto the floor

I started chewing on the small things
late-night bites of comfort
just to keep my hands from shaking
in the dark

Chips
pills
cheap praise
any scrap that hit the floor
I swept it all into my mouth
until my tongue turned numb

Friends said “slow down”
while they licked the same sugar
from their fingers
and pretended it was different
when they swallowed theirs

Meanwhile I kept loading both arms
with whatever I could grab
stuffing guilt and grease
and strangers’ skin
down the chute

Tables broke under the weight
of what I “needed”
heap on heap
till the plates looked like mass graves
under sauce and shine

Did not matter if it tasted
like bliss or poison
if it filled me for a moment
I called it mine

I ate sleep
I ate time
I ate years off my own spine
chasing that one full breath
I never got to keep

Bit into every easy answer
every cheap affection
every body that curved close enough
to make the voice go quiet
in my sleep

You told me “enough”
while your hands were in the bowl
we all gorge on something
to patch the hole

They tried an intervention
standing in a circle
with their own addictions
sweating through their shirts

Telling me I should find balance
while their eyes dragged
over every platter in the room
like a pack of cursed birds

I heard “stop”
from people who never stopped taking
saw plates cleared
with the same hands
that pointed at my mess

Realized this wasn’t about saving me
they just didn’t want to see
their own hunger
in my excess

This table is my altar
this fork is my blade
every bite another deal
with the monster I made

I know it is killing me
that is half the thrill
you cannot hurt me
with what I already use
as a pill

When they scrape what’s left of me
off the table
and whisper
“he went too far, too fast”

They will walk home
gnawing on their secrets
I just got caught
eating mine
at last