Crowd That Should Be Mine

Crowd That Should Be Mine

This is the crowd
that should be mine
every roar
every chant
every out-of-tune line

I play dirty basements
for drink tickets and spite
sweat peeling wallpaper off brick
while twelve bored faces
check the light

You headline festivals
screens towering over the zones
whole fields moving
like they are wired to your bones

Same town
same start
same bills on the ground
back when nobody cared
who had the skill or the will

Now your logo sells out shirts
while my best hooks die
free downloads scattered
where nobody walks by

Every chorus you belt
feels like a warped version of mine
hummed into a cheap mic
when we shared that van
and the wine

You pitch your story as “self-made”
while I chew my cheek
watching another chance pass
feeling heavy and weak

You nod at me from up front
like I should feel pride
that we came from the same street
and survived the ride

I nod back
clap on beat
hide the sting
climbing my throat
every time the crowd starts to sing

Those hands in the air
look like a jury calling me a fraud
you get their sweat
their lungs
I get ignored by god

You say “come up for a song”
throw me one verse like a bone
to an old stray dog
standing at the edge of your throne

Spotlight hits for thirty seconds
and I taste the heat
concentrated
sharp
sweeping me off my feet

For one breath
the crowd locks onto me
then your voice cuts back in
and I’m back in the debris

If I slashed your strings mid-set
and took the front
would they shift with me
or would I bear the brunt

I run that scene in my head
when the insomnia bites
eyes open
heart pounding
through the nights

Jealousy wraps both hands
around my throat
whispering the one thing
I can’t un-quote

“You had the same years
the same chance
you just missed the note”

When your bus rolls out
and the field goes still
trash glittering in the dirt
giving me a chill

I stand in the wreckage
pick up a wristband from the ground
and hear phantom voices
singing my sound