Anymore
Let me weave a tale for you.
A tale of life and death,
where one ventures forth to seek what’s true
through peril and distress.
A smoke and mirrors fairy tale.
I used to know everything without fail.
I used to cry out magic spells
and rattle forth sacred prayers.
I knew the questions no one tells,
and the wonder of the fears.
Then I heard a rattle sound.
A last breath drawn within.
A coldness filled the sullen room
and my ignorance begins.
What stands beyond the threshold
where no story dares to tread?
What creature carries the bitter cold
and comforts the newly dead?
Why does anger rise inside of me
when I know it was the end of pain?
Why does the memory terrify me
and call the nightmares back again?
Why does it touch my every thought?
Why does it feel so wrong —
an end to a painful battle fought,
and now her pain is gone?
Am I so selfish I’d wish her back
to the pain she was to endure,
to this world of faded black,
to face it all some more?
Where is she now?
Can she see my words
as I ask her to forgive?
The rattle sound was all I heard,
and I’m left behind to live.
I used to know everything.
I walked the shadows proud and sure.
Now I’m left with an infant’s mind.
I don’t know anything, anymore.