IDK
Shadows of the past spread out in front of me
and the voices haven’t stopped whispering.
A rosary wrapped around an old dry hand.
The mysteries we were never meant to crack.
You told me prayers get answered—
sometimes the answer is just no.
I prayed.
Wings of gold and pearl, some savior
to show me how to survive this.
Did anyone hear?
Was anyone even there?
I asked for a sign.
Something—anything—
to prove we’re not just burning years
in the dark for nothing.
You believed.
You carried that truth like a stone in your pocket,
wore it smooth with your fingers,
and it got you through.
But today I watched them lower you
into what I can only imagine
is a cold and lonely place.
And I swear I heard you whisper:
Jesus saves.
So why can’t he come here
and say it to my face?
I don’t believe.
Not in the way you did.
I don’t have the strength
to make that leap of faith.
And I don’t know
if that makes me honest
or just lost.