You Make My Stupid Heart Less Stupid
When I met you my heart was like a drunk raccoon in a dumpster
knocking over everything good just to see what made the loudest sound
I kept choosing people who treated me like a backup charger
only useful when their favorite outlet was nowhere around
I called it fate every time I dove headfirst into another mess that smelled like smoke and bad apologies on repeat
Then you walked in wearing yesterday’s jeans and a coffee stain
made a dumb joke
and somehow my panic forgot how to compete.
You did not sweep me off my feet
you tripped over my rug, muttered sorry
then helped me pick up every stupid thing I had dropped
Asked how I was and actually waited for the answer
even when it came out in starts and stops
You sent good morning messages that did not sound like copy paste trash
asked about my dentist appointment and my weird neighbor upstairs
Bit by bit my heart, that twitchy little gremlin
started peeking out from under the couch to see if maybe it was safe to care.
I still have days where I side-eye every kindness like it is a scam
waiting for the fine print and the hook
Still flinch when my phone buzzes late at night
expecting disaster or a guilt trip or some old chapter reopened with one look
Then it is just you sending a picture of your cat knocking over laundry
and my chest unclenches in a way no self-help book ever could.
You make my stupid heart less stupid, not smart
just less likely to run headfirst into oncoming cars
You do not fix my trust issues
you just give them snacks and a place to nap instead of chasing them into bars
Every time you say “I am not going anywhere
” I can feel some broken little part sit down and stop mapping escape routes to the stars
You make my stupid heart less stupid
and that is the sweetest upgrade I have had so far.
I still overthink every text I send you
rewrite jokes three times so they land silly and not needy as hell
Still have moments where I stare at your picture and think “they will get tired of this soon
might as well bail before it rings like a cracked bell
” You notice the way my eyes drift off, tap my knee
say “hey, I am here, you are safe
I am not scoring points for staying this long
” It feels so alien to be loved by someone who is not keeping a ledger
not tallying favors, not waiting for proof I belong.
You are not perfect, you leave dishes in the sink
forget plans
get moody when you are hungry and sleep deprived
But you do not weaponize your flaws, you own them
laugh at them, do better next time
let me see the whole unedited life you survived
And my heart, dumb as it is
understands that more than any grand speech about how it is all arrived.
You make my stupid heart less stupid, not smart
just less likely to run headfirst into oncoming cars
You do not fix my trust issues
you just give them snacks and a place to nap instead of chasing them into bars
Every time you say “I am not going anywhere
” I can feel some broken little part sit down and stop mapping escape routes to the stars
You make my stupid heart less stupid
and that is the sweetest upgrade I have had so far.
If you ever decide you need out
I will still be grateful as hell you showed me love does not have to feel like a test I cannot pass
That it can show up in grocery lists
in forehead kisses
in quiet rides home where nobody rushes the gas
But between us, I hope you stay
I like the way my chest feels when you laugh at my worst jokes and still hold my hand in class
You turned my heart from a clenched fist into something that might actually last.
You make my stupid heart less stupid, more patient
more honest, more willing to stay
It still trips over old alarm bells and bad memories
still bolts sometimes when you look at me in that soft way
Yet every time it runs
you just wait at the couch with a blanket and a movie until it decides not to run away
You make my stupid heart less stupid
and for the first time in forever
I think it might actually want to stay. If anyone asks how you did it
I will shrug and say “they listened, they laughed
they did not run when the weird shit appeared
” You make my stupid heart less stupid, baby
and that might be the strongest feeling I have ever known.