Whole World Under Me

I don’t want respect, I want control
I want your schedule, your thoughts in my hand
If you question
I will drag you through verbal glass till you understand
I talk like every idea you have is cute background noise behind my command
If you push back, even once
I turn into a bomb in this room, Dare you to stand.

I keep tabs on who likes you, who calls
then I tear them apart in your ear
Make you doubt your own gut till the only safe space you recognize is here
Here, where I am the center
and your wins are mine to approve or deny
Where you only feel stable when I nod
Any other look and you think you’ll fry.

This is not love
This is ownership dressed in charm and charm dressed in threat
If you ever step above me, That is a debt.
I want the whole world under me, every head a step
every spine a stair
If you stand beside me instead of below
I will drag you by the hair, Pride turned rabid

I do not share the goddamn spot
I’d rather rip down all the lights Than dim my rage.
When you finally get a win without my say attached
I feel sick, Smile with my teeth, poison it in private
tear it down quick, “Lucky, ” I say, “small, ” I say
anything to make sure you don’t feel tall
If someone else praises you

I’ll point out flaws so you remember Who runs this wall.
I know this makes me a bastard
I know one day you will leave with whatever you have left
But the thought of you shining without me hits my pride Like theft
I would rather ruin you than watch you stand free
Healthy, Above me.

I want the whole world under me, every head a step
every spine a stair
If you stand beside me instead of below
I will drag you by the hair, Pride turned rabid
I do not share the goddamn spot
I’d rather rip down all the lights Than dim my rage.

When my little kingdom empties and I sit on a heap of broken backs and busted trust
I will still tell myself I did the right thing
Because being first Felt just.