The Shape of Absence in a Shouting Crowd

The Shape of Absence in a Shouting Crowd

They call the roll after all the rest, Picked last
shoulders tight in my chest, Hands reach past
no one fighting for me, Just a shrug and a spot
all I’ll ever be.
The shape of absence in a shouting crowd
Always the last one spoken out loud, Never the first
never the spark, I fade at the edge of the dark.

I count the cracks in the gym floor tile
Learn to laugh so they’ll leave me a while, Every team
every match, every plan left behind
The sting of waiting stamped hard in my mind.
The shape of absence in a shouting crowd
Always the last one spoken out loud, Never the first
never the spark, I fade at the edge of the dark.

Still brace for the blow, every time, every year
Grown up now, but that silence is near.
The shape of absence in a shouting crowd
Always the last one spoken out loud, Never the first
never the spark, I fade at the edge of the dark.