Saints Of The Sideways Smile
There’s a kid on the corner with chipped nail polish and headphones older than their shoes
Walking like the sidewalk is a tightrope and every passing car is a jury ready to accuse
They practice eye contact with the cracks in the pavement
mumble comeback lines to no one
Carrying a backpack full of doodled notebooks where the real world is kinder and the shy kid finally won.
There’s a woman at the checkout
stuttering over coupons while the line behind her breathes that cold impatient sigh
She drops her purse, spills loose change
blushes so hard you can almost hear the shame burning behind her eyes
But the kid bagging groceries winks and cracks a joke about the floor stealing quarters just to ruin the day
And she smiles sideways, tiny, reluctant
like a wounded thing learning it might still be safe enough to stay.
All the half-smiles, quick and crooked
all the jokes that land too late
Every quiet “sorry” muttered when they take up half an inch of extra space
dead afraid of being dead weight
I see a strange kind of glory glowing round each worried face.
We are saints of the sideways smile
awkward and holy in our doubt
Here’s to the ones who never figured how to pose with all their edges smoothed out
If your grin shows too much gum
if your laugh is way too loud and wild
You belong with the saints of the sideways smile.
There’s a guy at the party pressed flat to the kitchen wall like it might swallow him whole
Counting the tiles while everyone else shouts small talk over beats that he can’t quite control
Till someone spills a drink, slips, starts laughing
and he rushes in with napkins and a goofy “you good?” Suddenly the room shifts around him
and for three warm minutes he is seen and understood.
We were never built for glossy
never trained in perfect light
We are candle flickers on bad weather evenings
small and stubborn, burning bright
If you tilt your head you’ll see our sparks flying sideways in the night.
We are saints of the sideways smile
awkward and holy in our doubt
Here’s to the ones who never figured how to pose with all their edges smoothed out
If your grin shows too much gum
if your laugh is way too loud and wild
You belong with the saints of the sideways smile.
No one writes songs for the ones who leave early
who fake phone calls just to breathe outside
For the kids at the dance hiding in the bathroom
texting memes, trying not to cry, So here it is
our loud-ass hymn for every anxious little heart that won’t give up
You are not a burden, you are not too weird
you are the quiet miracle that fills the cup.
We are saints of the sideways smile
nervous angels out of tune
Here’s to the shaking hands that still keep reaching across the room
If you feel like every step is wrong but you keep walking mile by mile
You are one of us, saint of the sideways smile.
Hold that tiny crooked grin
don’t let them tear it apart
Sideways saints survive by trusting in a messy heart.