Collateral Shrug

Collateral Shrug

Collateral shrug
whole lives dangling
from my lazy grip

If I let go and they fall
all they get from me
is a lip split with one word
“rip”

Boss sends another message
“need that project or payroll dies
clients walk
lights shut down”
I glance at it
toss the phone on the table
let the fan spin lazily
letting me drown

Whole crew hanging on a file
I could finish in an hour
if I had even half a spark

Stream another video
pick at a scab
let the office flicker
in the dark

Lover stands in the kitchen
plates smashed
saying she cannot keep carrying
this dead weight shell

List of my sins on the counter
all the times I checked out
while she tried to drag us
out of hell

I nod along
say “yeah, you are right”
make no move to step forward
or hold on

Watch her pack
slam doors
spin tires
gone

People keep telling me
“your choices hurt others”
like that is news
I stopped trying to hold the world together
the day I realized
it had nothing left for me to lose

Friends form a band
beg me to turn up
say my riffs could save the set
and their shot

Night comes
I look at the ticket on the counter
roll over
let the chance rot

Later they text a blow-by-blow
of how it tanked
blame themselves
blame fate
blame the rain

I type “damn, that sucks”
while a small dead corner of me
feels no shame
no pain

This started as burnout
nerves fried
brain fried
body running on fumes and regret

Over time that numbness hardened
turned into armor
turned into a bet

Somebody cares about this
more than me
someone will step in

If nobody does
guess it was meant
for the bin

One day the crash will land
on my skull instead of theirs
and snap my spine
like a dried-out twig

Till that day
I move slow
watch the dominos fall
never lift a rig