Tomorrow I’m starting the new program, that’s a fact,
I’ve got the app downloaded and the plan on track,
the grocery list for the week made out with care,
the vegetables and the lean proteins sitting there,
ready in the refrigerator for the morning clean,
start of the eating discipline that I’ve convened,
with myself in the bathroom mirror at seven this night,
but tonight is still tonight and tonight’s still right.
The pantry has a bag of pretzels I should probably eat,
before the diet makes them an occasional treat,
and the cheese in the drawer is the real cheddar kind,
that doesn’t fit the macros of the program designed,
for the new me, the disciplined and measured one,
who reads the labels before anything is done,
I should probably eat the cheese tonight right here,
before the program starts and cheese becomes the fear.
The night before the diet, the last night of the free,
the night before the diet, nobody’s watching me,
eat the cheese and eat the pretzels and the ice cream too,
the night before the diet, that’s the thing to do,
the night before the diet, everything goes in,
the night before the diet, gluttony’s last win,
before the morning and the discipline and the plan,
the night before the diet, I’m still this man.
The ice cream in the freezer would be wasteful left behind,
to guilt me in the app-controlled and measured mind,
of the next week’s eating, better to remove the threat,
I eat the pint with the dedicated spoon and yet,
I don’t feel better for the clearing of the fridge,
I feel the same, which is to say right on the ridge,
between the enjoyment and the question of the why,
I always end the diet before I try.
The cookies that my wife made are the practical case,
for eating everything tonight and starting with the grace,
of an empty pantry that confirms the clean break true,
the empty pantry means the diet starts right through,
without the temptation of the things that remained,
the night before the diet’s logic is sustained,
by this pure reasoning that I have long maintained,
the night before the diet leaves nothing unexplained.
The morning comes and the empty pantry is revealed,
and something like the diet’s first day has appealed,
to my full and satisfied and empty-pantry self,
which is to say I look at the near-empty shelf,
and feel the cold start of the discipline begin,
for about forty minutes until I go in,
to the gas station for the coffee and the thing,
the night before the diet always ends with the ring.