You climb into bed already mid-sentence about that thing your coworker said three days ago that still eats at you,
Eyes wide, arms waving, pacing at the foot of the mattress while I lie there in a t-shirt,
waiting for you to get through,
You replay the conversation line by line, assign motives, imagine outcomes,
craft responses you will never send, Then loop back to the start
and run it again, same script, same tension, same dead end.
I watch the way your jaw tightens, the way your shoulders reach for your ears,
the way your hands twist the sheets into knots,
You haven’t taken a full breath in fifteen minutes,
every worry breeding two new ones in the same spots,
I toss in a “yeah, that sucked” or “you did fine,” hoping it lands as an anchor in this storm,
But your brain dodges every reassurance
like a drunk driver, swerving back to the crash in perfect form.
You aren’t doing this on purpose,
your mind just loves reruns of every awkward moment you ever felt,
Still, watching you beat yourself bloody with words
while I sit inches away makes my own patience melt, I want to shake you
and kiss you and smother you in a pillow all in the same breath.
I love you, but shut the fuck up for a second, not forever, just long enough to see
where you stand, That voice in your head is not holy scripture,
it is a glitchy radio, not a command,
Lay down, put your head on my chest,
listen to my stupid tired heart keep time with your restless hand,
I love you, but shut the fuck up for a second, give your brain a chance to land.
You start to argue with me about why you’re a disaster, listing old mistakes
like charges in a court, Judge, jury, prosecution,
witness, all piled into one exhausted report,
I interrupt with a kiss that steals half a sentence,
then another, then one more until your rant falls out of tune,
You pull back laughing, call me rude,
then rest your forehead against mine, finally quiet in the room.
Silence settles awkward on you, like an outfit you never learned to wear in the light,
You twitch, reach for another worry to fill the gap,
I catch your hand, keep it pressed to my ribs, hold tight,
Whispering you do not have to earn your right to exist by speaking troubles all night.
We can schedule a rant hour tomorrow, I will bring snacks and let you vent every angle,
Tonight, bed is not a courtroom, this body is not the dock, we don’t need to tangle,
Let me hold you while the thoughts slow down,
while the worst case scenarios fade under messed up hair,
We can pick them up again in daylight if you still care enough to drag them there.
I love you, but shut the fuck up for a second, feel my arms, feel this mattress,
feel the fact that you are not alone,
Your brain runs marathons through imaginary disasters
while the real world just wants you home,
You do not need to solve every conflict before sleep,
you do not need a script for every unknown, I love you,
but shut the fuck up for a second, let the quiet set the tone.
When your thoughts start sprinting toward another all-night trial
where you lose no matter what evidence you bring,
Hear my voice in the dark saying “I love you, now hush, come here, don’t say a thing.”