I start to speak, the room’s all ears,
but words slip slip through the cracks of my fears.
Mid-thought, mid-breath,
the lines just van vanish,
a script dissolved,
leaving me to languish.
Stut stutters steal the show,
unexpected actors,
my tongue ties itself
in unsought chapters.
I’m scrambling for the the the thread,
the plot I lost,
each pause a chasm,
each silence a cost.
In my head, it’s clear,
the script’s intact,
but on my lips,
it fragments, a broken pact.
I smile wide to mask the inner fright,
pretend I’m whole,
though nothing’s quite right.
Can can can you hear the halts,
the faltering tones?
Do you see the smile,
just a th-thin disguise,
for the panic that lurks
behind these eyes?
I gather the pea pee pieces,
try to forge again,
the lines I lost
in the eyes of them.
But the words don’t fit fit,
they’re out of place,
in the puzzle of speech,
I can’t keep pa pace.
So when the words fa fade,
know it’s not my cha cha choice,
my mind rebels,
stifles my voice.
In the silence between,
understand my pa plea,
see the struggle,
not just the vacancy.